


goodnight and great love to you

by emkayss



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: JULESAMLING!, M/M, and everyone being blown away by how cute and mushy they are, it's basically just isak and even being cute and mushy, set right after NÅ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9248420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emkayss/pseuds/emkayss
Summary: Isak kisses Even under the mistletoe and someone cheers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write them holding hands and kissing to gabrielle, ok. 
> 
> (title is from an excerpt from one of george mallory's letters to his wife. the quote goes: "goodnight and great love to you. we see the same stars.")

Isak kisses Even under the mistletoe and someone cheers. 

They’re pretty good at keeping their space in public — in front of the guys, mostly, or at school. The flat is different, though; it’s familiar, and Isak can point out the places where he and Even have kissed. And even with all the people gathered in the living room and the kitchen, Isak knows every single one of them, and he doesn’t feel scared to be _seen_ by any of them. 

And so they get closer. Even finds Isak in the kitchen and they nod and they’re polite and they’re not clingy or anything, but then there’s the second hello and a hand on Isak’s hip after Jonas and Mahdi follow Magnus out of the kitchen, and Sana almost walks in on something in the kitchen where they’ve already made out to the tune of Gabrielle and smiled at each other like the other one is the sun and they’re… comfortable. _Comfortable._ That’s the word. 

Isak feels a bit like cheering himself when he kisses Even under the mistletoe. He’s smiling so wide the kiss stops working; he has to pull away. He tucks his forehead against Even’s and Even laughs — at him or the room or both, who knows, Isak’s stomach still flips — and runs his fingers through Isak’s hair. 

Even’s backed up against the doorframe and Isak is standing between his legs and he doesn’t care that someone might be watching them. He lets his hands rest on Even’s hips under his sweater and over his t-shirt and he kisses him, deep. He feels good. He likes the feel of Even under his hands, likes touching him. There’s tongue involved, and everyone he knows is painting Christmas decorations a couple feet away. 

One of Even’s hands is warm at the side of Isak’s neck, and they’re not even kissing anymore, they’re _making out._ Isak feels _good._ He’s never felt so honest before, never felt like he’s ever really presented himself like this. Like who he is. It feels a bit like a statement, even though it shouldn’t. It feels like Isak is saying _fuck you, this is who I am,_ to not just his friends sitting a room away, but to himself as well. 

And then the song starts playing. As soon as the melody is something Isak recognizes he tips his head backwards and groans. And not in a sexy way. 

“Not this fucking _song_ again!” Isak complains halfheartedly. He knows he’s already laughing. 

“You love this song!” Even is cracking up — as he does a lot at Isak’s expense. “This is _our_ song!” He’s already nodding his head along and Isak backs up half a step so he can have a little room to dance. Or, do something that resembles it. 

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me? _Our_ song?” He shakes his head. _Our song._ Bullshit. 

Even just keeps laughing and then he shuts his eyes and mouths along to that bit before the chorus, about being fired up and having no one else you’d rather do this with and Isak blushes and then the chorus starts and Even opens his eyes. It’s all Isak has not to say something stupid about how good Even looks when he’s lip syncing. Instead, he leans back in and presses his nose to Even’s and Isak feels his stomach drop in the best way at the little contented noise Even makes. 

“You look so good you mouth along,” Isak says softly, because he can’t really help it. It’s easier to say when Even can’t make out the entirety of his face, easier when Isak still feels like he’s half-concealed. 

Even makes the noise again, and it turns into a tiny, breathy laugh.

“I love it when you laugh.”

“You’ve already said that,” Even mumbles. Isak watches his eyelashes flutter. 

“I know.” Isak presses a kiss to Even’s cheek. “I still love it.” It feels a lot like he’s saying something else; like he means _you_ instead of _it._

It kind of scares him, but at the same time it feels so right, so much like every tiny bit of his life has led up to this feeling. 

Isak’s felt love before, felt whatever it was he felt towards Jonas, he loves Eva and his parents and maybe Eskild if you pressed him but he’s never felt so consumed and so overwhelmed by it before. Like little bits of him are finally being drawn together into something that means something else, something bigger. Constellations, maybe. Like, in hundreds of years people will still point at the night sky and tell stories about what Isak felt, about who Isak is. 

It’s a lot. He doesn’t feel like he has to say it this very second, so he tucks it away for later, and he kisses Even again because they’re close to the second chorus and the way Even’s lips drop to mouth _e dag_ and then _ilag_ a second later is too much and Isak is already halfway to overwhelmed. 

He pulls him in close and wraps his arms around Even’s neck and they kiss for a little while longer. Even pulls away eventually, and he looks a little dazed, which is how Isak feels. They stand there for a minute, just looking at each other. Isak doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of just looking at Even — trying to figure out all the little ways his face moves, how his eyes scrunch up when he laugh and how his eyebrows shoot up and then down again, and commit them somewhere deep in his memory. 

Even brings a finger up to trace the shape of Isak’s eyebrow. He frowns, and the skin between his eyebrows creases and Even laughs a bit. 

“You’re so pretty,” Even says, and Isak feels his face heat up. 

He doesn’t exactly know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything, just smiles up at Even. “Let’s go sit down,” Isak says after a minute. 

Even nods and Isak takes his hand and pulls him to the living room.

They end up sitting cross-legged on the floor. One of Isak’s hands is in Even’s lap. Even’s playing with his fingers, curling them up and pressing them backwards gently, while Isak talks with Eva and Noora. Even says something once in a while, but he’s mostly listening to them talk about school and London and Eskild and every other topic in the world, it seems. 

It’s starting to get late but everyone’s still here, laughing and drinking and eating cookies. Isak’s not exactly _tired,_ but he’s starting to feel the night set in; he’s still feeling a bit fuzzy from the beer and he’s still not 100% convinced Even is actually _sitting right beside him!_ And he’s _holding his hand!_

(And yeah, sure, they’ve held hands before, but it’s different when you’re fucking and it’s not so much _holding hands_ as it is holding _onto something._ Isak blushes at the thought, but he doesn’t pull his hand away.)

He and Noora are in the middle of recounting something stupid Eskild had done that has Eva laughing so hard she’s crying when Even slumps over onto Isak’s shoulder. There’s half a second where he kind of falters — where his brain goes blank and he’s on the edge of full-on panic mode. And then Even makes a contented, sleepy noise and Isak almost laughs and he wants to shove Even so he’s sitting upright again but he doesn’t have it in him. 

Instead, Isak maneuvers Even so his head is in his lap. He takes a shaky breath, looking down at where Even is halfway to falling asleep. He starts to run his fingers through Even’s hair — the top, mostly, where it’s a bit longer, but still thin and wispy — and he catches Even’s tiny smile. 

He lives in that second. And then he looks back up to Eva and Noora and tries not to think about the looks on their faces and he shakes his head and he goes _anyways…_ and he plows right back into his story. Noora jumps in to correct something and Eva starts laughing again and it all feels so _normal,_ so much like him sitting here with a boy in his lap is not unusual at all. 

Isak’s feeling… settled in a way he hasn’t before. Feeling like himself. He told Eva this before — he’s tired of everything being fake, of pretending to be someone he isn’t. It’s time for him to lay who he in front of him and to step in to it. Be himself. It’s daunting and it’s scary but for the first time in his life Isak’s confident he’s made the right decision. 

***

Vilde wants them to take a picture before people start to head home. It’s a hassle to organize everyone, but they do it and Isak stands with Even’s arms wrapped around him. Vilde sets her phone up on a timer and they take a couple pictures and everyone smiles and everyone laughs through it. The group starts to disperse once they’ve got a photo Vilde’s deemed good enough to post on Instagram. Isak shuffles around in Even’s arms so they’re facing each other. He kisses him once, and pulls away a bit when he notices Jonas heading their way — it’s instinct at this point to put some space between them. 

“Hey,” Jonas says once he’s close enough. 

“Jonas!” Isak pulls Jonas into an awkward one-armed hug. Jonas slaps Isak on the back, and nods at Even when they’ve separated. Even nods back. 

“I think we’re heading out soon.” Jonas shrugs. “I just wanted to say goodnight to you guys.” 

Isak feigns offence, putting his hand to his chest. “You’re leaving _me?_ For the _dance girls?”_

“No,” Jonas laughs. “I don’t think they’d let us in if you weren’t with us.” 

“What’s this?” Even says, and his eyebrows shoot up. It was almost comical the first time Isak saw it happen, but now… now it’s just one of things about Even that makes him (at the risk of sounding cheesy) _Even._ And Isak loves it. 

Isak shrugs. “These third year girls invited us to their Christmas party. Not a big deal.” 

“Dude. The only reason they wanted you there is because you’re dating Even. Shit’s _fucked.”_

“Whatever, man.” Isak shakes his head. “I don’t give a shit. They’re obviously fucked up.” 

Jonas nods. “Yeah! Obviously.” There’s a beat of silence, and then: “Those girls had a point though, you guys have _got_ to be the school’s power couple. We’ve been seriously lacking.” 

Even laughs, and Isak groans. “You sound like Sana. Or Vilde. Or someone else, I don’t fucking know.” 

“You don’t want to be the power couple?” Even asks, innocently enough. Isak shoots him a look. 

“Why would I want to be the _power couple?”_

Even shrugs. “It would be pretty cool, I guess.” 

Jonas busts out laughing at that and Isak just shakes his head. “Why am I dating you again?” 

“Because my mom is paying you?” Even says, smiling stupidly. 

“Right. How could I forget?” Isak says, quietly, leaning up a bit to press a kiss to Even’s lips. “You’re such an idiot.” 

The kiss is barely anything because Jonas is still standing there, and Isak is _extremely_ aware of that fact. He settles down at Even’s side and grabs his hand, instead. 

“You _guys,”_ Jonas teases. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, clicks it on and off again and slides it back. “Okay, I’ve seriously got to go now. Sorry for interrupting.” 

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Isak says, and he’s reluctant to let go of Even’s hand but he doesn’t really want to ruin Jonas’ goodbye with PDA. Even tells him he’s going back to Isak’s room, and Isak nods and kisses him again and tells him he'll be there soon. 

Jonas and Isak are silent on their way to the front door. Isak finds Jonas’ jacket and Jonas finds his shoes and then he’s ready to go and neither of them have said anything. 

It’s Jonas that finally says something.

“You’re so different.” Jonas almost sounds amazed, like Isak is some kind of art, some kind of mystery that he’s just had some revelation about. Isak doesn’t think he’s nearly as enigmatic as people seem to think.

“Good or bad different?” 

“Good different. Definitely.” Jonas nods, and it’s reassuring. “You’re… I don’t know. Happy?” 

“I am.” Isak says it without thinking, without hesitation.

He thinks about what he told Eva earlier. He can’t foresee the future, can’t guess what’s going to happen, but he’s _happy._ He is who is, and maybe he doesn’t love it but he’s on his way. 

***

He says his goodbyes to Jonas and heads back to the living room. All of his friends are spread out on the furniture and on the floor, talking quietly amongst themselves. They don’t really notice Isak, so he slides past them to the hallway to his room. 

Even is sitting up in Isak’s bed, reading something on his phone, when Isak opens the door. They both say _halla_ and Isak crawls up to nestle beside him. 

He’s thinking _I love you I love you I love you,_ but he doesn’t know how to say it, so he doesn’t say anything. 

Instead, he looks up at Even and says, “I’m happy.” 

Even looks down at him, and Isak feels like he’s looking into the sun, like he’s staring at it and he’s thinking _“fuck, this it, I’m done,”_ and there’s not a single thing he can do. 

Even looks down at him, and says, “I’m happy too,” and it sounds a lot like something else. 

 

 

(Back in the living room, Eva raises her hands and claps and cheers for the bottle of wine Eskild has just pulled out. Isak hears it, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, it was meant for them.) 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> come bug me to write eva/noora on tumblr @emkayss and twitter @mirakayss! thank you for reading!


End file.
